Journey into my heart

Good morning! I hope your week is off to a running start this morning.

This past week my wife and I took a few days away in the Texas Hill Country. Each year we try to take a retreat for our anniversary. This is a time to reconnect as a couple and to keep our marriage in its proper place with the other demands of life.

For me, this retreat was unlike any others we had gone on before. Not only did I take a journey with my wife, but God took me on a unique journey into my heart. This journey was unlike any journey I had ever taken before.

Psalm 139:23 (NLT)
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.

God began the journey by taking me through the unhealed wounds to my heart. There were things revealed that I had never truly accepted as injuries to my heart. Words that had cut…insults that had hit their target…difficult season of life still remained unreconciled.

God next showed me how guarded I have become. In my days as a police officer, I lived by the 6 foot rule. The 6 foot rule was a radius of controlled space that I kept around me when conducting business. To enter that space uninvited was considered a breach of personal safety for me and my fellow officers.

What God showed me was that I have brought that guardedness into every area of my life. I am not a natural hugger…I dismiss compliments or redirect them altogether…there is always a 6 foot ring of emotional distance. Sadly, I came to realize on this journey that I do the same thing with God. I have not allowed Him to express His love for me in the manner that He has wanted to and in doing so I have missed out on His best for me.

So this past week, I made a choice to drop the protective barriers of my soul. I invited God to show me His love in whatever ways He chose. I invited Him into my wounds, my sorrows, my disappointments and any other closet that I have kept securely locked throughout my life.

As the week went on I began to experience a new intimacy with God, unlike any that I have experienced before. This new level of openness spilled over into my time with my wife and we too related on a much deeper level than either one of us ever remember relating.

Maybe this week you need to take a journey with God. Invite Him to give you a tour of your own heart. You too may be missing out on God’s best.

Until next Monday, may God’s richest blessings be yours this week.

Carl